This is my first blog post and forgive me if my story seems confusing or hard to follow. If you have any questions or want to speak to me privately feel free to email me at kingandixiii@gmail.com. I wanna tell you a personal account of the time I spent in Oklahoma City from 2015 to 2016. First I want to start by saying, my name is Emily and I am an addict. I first started experimenting with drugs at 12 and by the time I was 19 was I was using heroin. I started with OxyContin pain pills at 16. Throughout this blog I am going to raise some questions that I would like the answers to. Just like a lot of other people do, but who do we ask? Who do we fault? I am the first one to take responsibility for my actions, however there are outside influences that were outside of my control that also affected my situation. For instance, how could such a powerful pain killer be released so freely into the black market? My only conclusion is that it was well planned by the pharmaceutical companies. The same 1% of the world that controls these companies along with the media, the government, the oil industry and any other industry that promotes division. I say division cause these politically connected companies want to keep control of all the power financially and scientifically. It makes sense for them to keep the rest of us enslaved. Just on a financial standpoint, they want us to become a slave to addiction alone. They are fully aware of the money they will make with all the different treatment like methodone, suboxone, etc., and facilities alone. Not to mention the money us "criminals" or drug abusers will spend on court costs, probation, and jail. All these "solutions" to solve our addiction are really just more ways to keep us down and out. How likely is it for me to number one; beat my addiction, number two: actually make something of my life after being labeled a drug abuser/offender    on and off paper. Don't get me wrong it can be done! My goal is to make it easier for everyone who's ever struggled to come up and to do so with pride. These stereotypes and labels are thrown around to keep us shameful and loaded with guilt. Cause with addiction comes crime and with crime comes guilt and shame. No addict wants to steal or hurt their families or "choose" drugs over the people they
love. They especially don't want to hurt themselves, the people they were truly meant to be. The person who their heart reflects.
    Back to my story. Because of my addiction my father desperately wanted me to get clean. He was also plagued with addiction as well in my younger years. One day he offered for me to go to a 30 day treatment facility. This was a far cry from what I was normally used to. I typically went to state funded programs. He told me that it was his only wish for me to get better and that he had found a place in Cushing, Oklahoma. My first thought was why Oklahoma and could we afford it? It turns out he had already called and set up a payment plan. All I had to do was agree to go and get on the plane that Thursday. I agreed.
    The facility was beautiful and despite the twelve days of no sleep and rough detox I actually love it and for once in my life wanted to stay clean. I had also met a man Bobby who worked for oil while I was in treatment. I decided to stay in Oklahoma cause of this man and that's when my nightmare began. We had rented a nice house in The Village in OKC and everything appeared picture perfect except the fact that he didn't stop drinking and he beat me daily. I put up with it for as long as I could handle until it got so bad one night I had called my father and told him the truth. He was so worried he had actually called the village police department. They had showed up at my house and asked to speak to us separately. I had finally worked up the courage to tell them exactly what was happening. This took a lot out of me cause I was essentially all alone in a new city. We only had his car, I had no friends, and no family close by. I had shown the officer all my bruises and she had told me that they were a couple days too old to press charges. I was shocked. Obviously what he had done that night did not bruise yet. They spoke to him and came up to the back of the car I was in when they proceeded to ask me to pull up my sleeves! I knew right away what was going on. He had told them that I was just some heroin addict and they had the audacity to hold that against me even though I had  not used in months! For me that was a miracle alone seeing as I could not gather five minutes clean in  the 13 years prior. I immediately told them to leave and realized then that they were
not in any way shape or form out to protect me. If I only knew then what I knew now, everything would have been a lot more clear.
    I had finally gathered enough strength to leave Bobby and stay in he city by myself. I could not
afford my home any longer. I was lucky enough to have my father help me as much as he could
financially and I ended up living in motels for a while. I was actively searching for a job but it seemed impossible and I could not fathom why seeing as I have a pretty impressive professional resume. I graduate with honors, dean's list, with a 3.9 GPA when I earned my associates degree. I was given a full scholarship cause of my academic standing to Suffolk University, a privately owned college in Boston, MA. Unfortunately Suffolk was located in the heart of Boston and only had limited  housing for its students. My scholarship completely covered the tuition of 32,000 a year but, was not enough for off campus living. I actually went as far as finding my own apartment right near Fenway. The rent was $1,000 a month just for my own room in a four bedroom flat. My family was not capable of paying anywhere close to that amount. They had mad early it clear that were not able to help out in any way and I thought maybe at first I could hack it but, I was also on methodone at the time and in the end I got scared and backed out of the lease and decided to not attend Suffolk. Looking back it was the one decision in my life that I can say was the biggest mistake of my life. Anyway, I found it odd that no one even called me back for an interview. Even though I was truly trying to better my life, for the first time in my life I was free and enjoying not being a slave to heroin. I felt like I had wasted so much of my life back in Massachusetts just existing not living because of my addiction. I met some people that were also living in motels and i ended up experiementing with meth. Meth was really popular in Oklahoma and even though I hated uppers, like coke that made you speed up, I was just happy to have fun, fit in, and be able to use something I was not a physical or mental slave to. During this time I ended up meeting my current boyfriend. Eventually my father stopped flipping the bill for me to live and we ended up on the streets for a while. That's when shit really started to go wrong and weird. This is the part of the story where I almost lost my mind, my life, and my faith.